Thrift shopping and a lipstick proposition

Is it a crime to work such a hard fall vibe in January?

Happy Thanksgiving?

I’m a very volatile thrift shopper, constantly falling in one of two unfortunate traps: (1) unable to see the potential in anything or (2) able to see the potential in too many things. I cannot deny the latter mood has produced some real gems though. My bike club sweatshirt, my Sasquatch t-shirt, my “shop till you drop” duck pullover…

THAT SAID, the women who put together expensive-looking outfits with their thrifted purchases have always been godly creatures I don’t understand. I need a beautiful clean store with fashionable things laid out for me saying “I’m new and already styled for you. Buy me.” Speaking of which: the above black denim pencil skirt is from zara.

However! Last Saturday I outdid myself and actually found two things I can wear in public without looking like a day-drinking college student, both on my body today.

Someone hand me a broomstick.

The items in question: a red-checked Woolrich coat that weighs about twelve pounds and some pointy lace-up boots that I also just found on ebay, if you’re a size 5 (who is a size 5?). Both found at Pretty Penny, a thrift store in Oakland that gave me a free tote after I overstayed my welcome. Five stars for Pretty Penny.

Literally called “granny boots” which I’m not mad about

Am I real blogger if I’m walking in a photo?

Excuse me, in a hurry to nowhere

Kelsey and I always joke that our Asos return rate is about 95%, but I’ve recently had a lot of luck. Ever in search of a great mock turtle, I ordered this one last week and didn’t think twice about keeping it once it was in my greedy clutches. I mean look at those awkward sleeves. Irresistable.

Girl's workin that side pony, can't hate.

Girl’s workin that side pony, can’t hate.

It’s a very satisfyingly sturdy material. Not sure I’d call it camel though…maybe a baby camel or camel poop (on a watery day), but not a classic camel.

Aw, look at that tuck. You’ll get ’em next time tiger.

I was doodling this girl yesterday and wishing my lips looked like hers. Ugh UNREALISTIC BEAUTY STANDARDS am I right? So today when applying lipstick I decided to just bulldoze right over my cupid’s bow.

Is this allowed? Do I look like Kylie Jenner? It’s okay if I do. Speaking of KJ, I had a dream about her the other night and she was literally reading me her bank statement pointing out all the plastic surgery she’s paid for, and then turning around to a reporter and denying it. I think my subconscience is a pop culture analyst. Call me, E News.

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