Let’s talk about weird pants

Weird pants are having a major moment right now. If you happen to loiter around the same sites I do (Need Supply, Asos, Shopbop, Revolve, ZaraTotokaelo, Ssense), maybe you’ve also been clicking around with a general sense of unease.

You know I’m a supporter of that perfectly dorky flavor of jeans, but some of these recent styles have blown through even my boundaries and are begging the question: how bad are we willing to get? How many cats should we be physically able to fit inside our pants? How many inches off our heels should our jeans hang? Are we okay with our hemlines dragging in the street underneath our flip-flops a la 7th grade?

 

Sorry Totokaelo, you know I love you, but these photos are giving me a stomach ache. I’m probably missing some high-fashion angle here, but I can’t help but feel like the bad pants trend (i.e. mom jeans, cowboy crotches, culottes, wide-legs) jumps the shark when they go from fun to spine-chilling. Just me? One look at that third pair and I’m back in an elementary school pipes nightmare.

I will say those other ones aren’t as offensive…the last ones especially look okay once cuffed. But am I the only one who’s unsettled by vaguely baggy straight-leg jeans that aren’t quite tight enough around the ankle to be considered skinny nor baggy enough to be a flare? That was basically all of high school and college for me.

Different and interesting pants? Yes. But what does it mean that I’m 99% confident a pair of pants would induce cry-laughs from my friends on the floor of thrift store dressing rooms?

Let’s explore the non-jean realm. By the way, you can click through the captions on all these to view the products. If you dare.

You know, maybe what I’m repelled by are the generous lengths. I’m comfortable with a crop and/or a taper, but I have too many negative emotions attached to long baggy pants. I swear to god those second ones look just like the pair I wore to my hostess job at Chili’s in high school. Seriously, just switch out those black wedges for a sturdy pair of black no-slip grip sneakers and welcome to Chili’s.

Slacks anyone? Why am I seeing slacks everywhere?

You know what it is? All of these remind me of pants I used to buy when I was 14, had to go to church, and had an affinity for ill-fitting suit pants from Marshall’s. Absolutely nothing against Marshall’s, but the only time I lived near enough to frequent one I was in the habit of buying discount velour Juicy sweats with my Baskin Robbins paychecks. By the way, let me know if you want me to send you my resume to use as a template.

So yes, long and baggy seems to be a common denominator here. However, I shouldn’t speak too soon. Other pants are creeping up into capri land, which also sends a ’00s fashion shiver down my spine.

 

So what do you think? Am I denying the cyclical nature of fashion? Will we all come around in a year or so when this stuff goes mainstream or have weird pants jumped the shark?

And to end on a positive note, some bad pants I love.

One thought on “Let’s talk about weird pants

  1. Pingback: So fresh and so clean (until curry) | similarish

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