Turtlenecks are everywhere right now. This goes for the world as well as my bedroom.
What is it about a loose funnel of cotton around the gullet that makes one feel safe? And flannels. Flannels have similar danger-abating qualities, so when you wear both at once I can only imagine your chances of being murdered drop by several percentage points. Someone call Steven Levitt.
I’ve noticed a recent theme whereby I mention clothing making me feel safe. I should probably bring this up at my next therapy session.
Psychosomatics aside, the turtle-flannel combo harkens back to the 1970’s casual-but-intellectual college girl, which is something we could all benefit from channeling every once in a while. When I wore a similar getup over the holidays last year my mom, Kit, kept looking at me and giggling. “I just can’t believe how much you look like a coed from my school days.” A thousand karma points were earned by Kit that day. ✌
Shifting our gaze about 3 feet south, I’d like to call your attention to my dogs:
Not merely the shoes, but rather what’s hiding within them. That is, the magic of invisible heels, which are effectively little foam door stops you pop in your shoes for some extra lift. I first heard about these little beautiful beauties on manrepeller, and bought them approximately 8 seconds later.
The site says they’re an inch and a half but by nature of how unbelievably comfy and squishy they are, I’d say it’s realistically more like an inch, which in my opinion is the goldilocks measurement of invisible lift you’ll ever want or need. It’s not so much that you’re suspiciously teeter-tottering around, nor too low that you don’t notice a difference.
Put these suckers in and suddenly your shoes are tiny mobile sponge beds and you’ve been working out for the last month. I prefer to wear them in low heels over high heels or flat shoes, so they don’t make me too tall or change how I stand. And if you made it to that second sentence after that first one I commend you and here’s the direct link again for your troubles.
Alright everyone, I’m off to go tutor some kids, listen to Joni Mitchell, and protest the war.