NY Fashion Week trends I’ve observed from the fiery chamber that is my bed

While the fashion elite have been braving the storms in NYC this week, I’ve been reviewing all the shows from the depths of my down comforter, the utility of which is remarkably similar to an oven. So hot in fact, that I’m inclined to check my hormonology and blame this on my cycle.

Depleting estrogen aside, attending NYFW from bed both catered to my hermitism and incited some good old-fashioned FOMO. I mean, the attendee net is cast so wide my brother sent me a selfie with Chingy the other night. And if you totally forgot Chingy existed until right now – you’re welcome!

However, I’m excited to report I will be in New York later this week, so I’ll be hitting up all the irrelevant rappers I can think of in a hot minute.

Okay. Fashion. Here are 10 trends I’ve observed:

1. Waists are nipped and tucked

Who can get mad about a waist on display? It is a celebration of the female form! A cheerful nod to the 70s! I wholeheartedly support it. Let’s just be thoughtful about when we partake…high waistlines are the enemy to the food baby and will not keep us in check as much as serve as a reminder that we should have gone for the pillowcase silhouette that day.

That said, I wore high-waisted jeans on Thanksgivings last year, arguably the worst day of the year to do so, and it was nothing a loose top button and a generously-sized napkin couldn’t solve.

 

2. Belts belts belts

No easier way to display a waist than by throwing a belt on it. If I’m honest though, It feels a little too soon since my sister and I were belting everything we could get our paws on back in 2006. But I don’t make the rules.

 

3. Neutral knits

Who wouldn’t want to deck out their entire body in knitwear? A knit skirt with a knit shirt and a knit sweater? Why the hell not?! It’s essentially walking around with a blanket on your body.

 

4. Shearling

Remember Shrek? The sheep that hid in a cave for 6 years to avoid the shears, thus amassing 60 pounds of wool on his body? Based on the amount of shearling in the shows this year, I wouldn’t be surprised if sheep are banning together right now to plan similar escapes.

 

5. Fur serious

I challenge you to find a show that didn’t have fur in it this season. It was EVERYWHERE. Which not only validated my recent purchase of two fur coats but also made me antsy for the new season of Game of Thrones.

PETA – please don’t shoot the messenger, the coats I bought were fake and on clearance for $39.99.

 

6. Fringes and tassels and more

If you’re prone to spills, you’re in luck because you can now adorn yourself with maximum absorbency materials and still look chic. Sorry if the words maximum absorbency made you think of your period. But seriously ladies were stomping down the runways in beautiful angelic mops this week, prompting me to wonder if my mom still had that rainbow tassel jacket from the 80s that we used to make fun of…because I want it now and I’m sorry about that, Kit.

 

7. Neck of the turtle

WHO DID THIS SURPRISE? No one. Turtles have been back for a while and I’m happy to say they weren’t just peaking in here and there, they were deeply integrated into dozens of collections, often layered under v necks and other sweaters. Praise turtles. Turtle paradise. Halleluja to the turtle.

 

8. V necks, v serious

So long scoop necks, the v is back. But not just any old v, we’re talking deep v’s, layered v’s, scarved v’s, stitched v’s, plunging v’s, bringing a whole new meaning to the expression “v cool.” V also happens to be my dad’s nickname so I’ll need to let him know ASAP that he’s back in vogue.

 

9. Skirt slits that mean biz

70s fashion for women was such a cool marriage of sexy and modest and I love how the modern interpretation of that translated to long hemlines with sexy-ass slits.  Bonus: mobility. Throw on a pair of sneakers and you could go for a jog in any of these babies.

 

10. Orange

I am so sorry to say that the color of the season appears to be orange. Can someone please let me know ASAP if they’re acquainted with a mortal who looks good in orange? I’m totally cool with the 70’s being back – but I question whether we need to celebrate the most popular carpet color of the decade.

Honorable mentions go to tall boots, visible stitching, big buttons, giant scarves, western vibes, 90’s necklines, and chokers.

I’m looking forward to the rest of the shows and if my spidey sense hasn’t been tainted by the unmentionable number of cookies I just ate then I suspect we’ll be seeing more of the above, albeit through different designers’ lenses. Perhaps this list should serve as a reminder to go raid our mother’s closets…

And finally, the best photo from Alexander Wang’s show:

best photo in A Wang

G2G

All photos pulled from NY Mag’s The Cut.

2 thoughts on “NY Fashion Week trends I’ve observed from the fiery chamber that is my bed

  1. Pingback: Bandana split two ways | similarish

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